This morning my alarm went off at 4:40 am, just like most Monday mornings. I got up and put food in the dog's bowl (but no sign of dog, she sleeps in these days), put on my swimsuit, collected my things for masters practice, and then quickly checked my email. And there it was, the email that I had been hoping and working hard for, an invitation to compete this year in Kona. I smiled. I told Oscar on the way out the door. He smiled and gave me a kiss. I drove to masters. I had a great workout with my good friend Chad, who I've been doing triathlon alongside for 8+ years. I talked to my friends and Coach Jen. I took a shower. I got in my car to drive home.
And then, unexpectedly, as I turned the keys in the ignition, I burst into tears. I think all the emotion that I've pent up these past couple weeks and months, finally came bubbling to the surface. This year is turning out to have some of the very highest highs I've ever felt, but also some of the very lowest, lows. And while I would never consider my "problems" to be on the same level as what many go through on a daily basis, I also don't want to minimize some of the emotional turmoil I've felt this year. No matter what it is you are down about, being depressed is a real condition that needs to be treated. And it's not a small thing.
This morning in the car, I was elated, relieved, happy beyond words, excited, and of course, thrilled. But mostly, I was so filled with gratitude. It's a great thing to achieve a dream, but even more wonderful, I'm learning, is to realize just how many people have helped you in doing so. So above all else, what I feel is thankful. So very, very thankful for all the people that gave of themselves so that I could get to do this.
So this Kona thing, it's really happening!! Which means I get to train for another Ironman! I hear it's a bit hot and maybe a little windy on the Big Island in October, 'eh? ;)